One thing that many people who come to see me begin to recognize in sessions is how drained they are around certain people and in different environments.
They tend to "lose" their ability to remain patient and centered, sometimes being labeled crazy or passionate by their family members, when in actuality they are merely running the unconscious emotional energy of the people around them.
Taking on other people's stuff can have detrimental effects. I have seen clients with fibromyalgia reset and heal just by releasing all the years of energy they have accumulated in their bodies from taking on stuff that's not theirs and realizing they are extremely gifted healers.
So how do you know if you have been taking on energies that are not yours?
The 4 major signs you're taking on other's energies:
1. Avoiding certain places and/or people because of their intense energy, feeling drained when you are around them and/or becoming emotional after being in certain environments.
2. Feeling burned out - not wanting to do much of anything, resentful of your work environment or family life, feeling extremely stressed out, losing sleep and/or getting sick more often than usual.
3. Feeling someone's emotions as they talk to you about their day and thinking about them throughout your day.
4. Having a hard time saying no, taking care of yourself and making choices.
Avoiding certain places and/or people because it's too much to handle is the number one sign that you're taking on energy, emotions and beliefs about the world that aren't yours and you need to let them go.
And if you're a healer, counselor, shelter worker, teacher or in any other type of service based industry, you are at a higher risk for burnout and quitting due to fatigue, stress or illness.
Burnout, in my opinion, is another name for the inability to release the fire of another. Taking on another person’s energy or the emotional energy of a situation can be damaging to your health if you're not aware that this is happening and not sure how to release this overload of information and energy.
I truly believe that the number one reason that the burnout rate is so high in the healing professions (especially social work) is because the people in those professions are natural "Empaths" (people who tend to take on and feel other people’s energies and problems as their own in order to access their healing gifts of compassion and understanding) who never truly release those energies throughout their day.
If you are a compassionate and empathetic person, it's easy for you to put yourself in another's shoes, understand that person's experience and feel the undercurrent of emotion in situations. This is a gift that opens the door to compassion and understanding and allows you to read a situation through it's emotional wisdom.
When this natural healing ability of empathic communication goes un-noticed, it is so easy to live your life through other people’s emotional states, rather than your own. And because of this, it may be harder to make important decisions and take care of yourself.
So what can you do if you're taking on more than your fair share?
My top 3 ways to stop taking on other people's energies:
1. Become consciously aware of how much you are taking on other people's stuff throughout the day. Really watch, feel and notice when your emotional state shifts dramatically and who's around you or where you are when this happens. Practice this.
Just the act of being aware of what's going, you help understand you always have a choice in whether you want to keep that stuff with you or not.
2. Ask "Is this mine?" and ask yourself to let it go. Throughout your day, when you are feeling like something out of the normal has happened in your body, mind or emotions, (ie. a new emotion has come up out of the blue, a weird picture or sensation has landed in your mind or body, etc.) ask yourself: “Is this mine?”
Notice how you feel or what answer you receive after you ask that question. If you feel lighter or receive a “no,” then it wasn’t yours.
3. Clear out the energies you've taken on with a energetic Golden Mesh. This Golden Mesh is an imagined net made of golden light that can be placed over doors, windows and anywhere you are. You can walk through it, imagining it clearing out the energies that you no longer need.
Here are the steps to using it throughout your day:
Imagine a net made of golden light.
Imagine this net being able to collect all the energies that you have taken on from other people as your own.
Imagine the net below your feet and watch as this net slowly moves up through your body and energy system and collects all the energy that is not yours.
As it moves past your head, imagine it being collected together and hurled into space.
Watch as it disappears into a black hole.
Notice how you feel.
Repeat as often as you like, but especially after uncomfortable situations and before bed.
And remember, shifting deep patterns of relating to the world takes time and practice. Keep at it and you will notice just how much you've been living with stuff you didn't need.